Skip to main content

My Battle with Depression


"Life is not easy, not just for me but to anyone living and breathing"

"Why  do I feel so down? Why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel alone? Why do I feel so angry with little things? 
Why am I like this?
I feel so tired!"

These are the questions I asked myself few years back. .

Let me tell you something about myself. .

I was an Overseas Filipino Worker in HongKong. I worked as a Domestic Helper who starts my day around 5 am and ends at 9 pm. Working as Domestic Helper is not easy, but I always tell myself that I'm doing this for our future.

Every Sunday I was able to meet my mom who is also working there,I was able to meet new friends and I was able to eat and buy things that I can't buy before. I was able to travel and visit other places like Macau, Shenzhen and Shanghai.

This photo is from my Shanghai ,China Trip.

I'm too happy to buy new things, eat the food I like with my own hard earned money.
I know what are my goals in life and I'm not afraid to follow my dreams.

But that was the past. 

After 7 years 

I'm  already in my late 30's and  a stay home mom depending on my husband. Everything has to be in budget. 

There are things that I would like to buy for myself, new restaurants that I would like to try and places that I would like to visit but unfortunately I was not able to do.

I keep asking myself, why is my life like this. 

Why? 
Because there are things that needs to be prioritized

Instead of buying new things for myself,I  will just spend the money for my kids.
Whenever I see a new restaurant or a mouth watering dish that I would like to try, I will end up cooking at home since I always think of budgeting.
My husband and I have talked about this, we end up in arguments. I became so sensitive and came to the point I belittled myself.

This is the time that I started to think about my past, how happy  I was back in those years.

This is when depression starts to eat me . . .

I kept myself away from other people. I avoided going out of the house. I rejected my friends and relatives invitations and calls. 
I ended up watching Korean Drama Series which I thought would be a nice past time.
I ate too much sweets, junkfoods and had an unhealthy diet.
I gained weight
I looked older than my age
I pitied myself
It came to the point where I thought that my husband doesn't love me anymore.
I feel like I'm not needed and lost my worth.
I slept even on day time
My mood changed from time to time.

My relationship with my husband and our family was almost torn apart.
It was the time that I don't even care about anything.

During  those times, there's always this little voice kept saying " I love you mama" Are you OK'  " You want water mama?"

Yes , she's my 4 year old daughter.

My daughter Chelsea.

I almost forgot that I'm a mother to this beautiful child who is always beside me when I open my eyes everyday.
Her arms who never grows tired of hugging me.

How did I overcome Depression ?

1. Acceptance

Accept reality and be thankful
I'm a mom and a wife ,I'm not single anymore to think only about myself
I always thank our creator for everything

2. Seek for advise
I read a lot of articles and stories about depression and it helps me a lot to know more about depression and how to battle with it.
◾ Consult your doctor.


3. Talk to your loveones

Let them know how you feel and what you are thinking.
◾ I had this conversation with my husband . I was able to tell him for the very first time why I feel so depressed.

4. Choose to be happy

Instead of watching Dramas,
watch videos or movies that will make you laugh and appreciate life
◾ Drama will only add sad emotions to you

5. Find an inspiration 

If you are a mom or a dad . Just look in your child's face .Tell yourself this little child of mine will not stay as a baby and will grow up. 
I like to see them and be with them while they are growing up.


6. Pamper yourself

Though all of us are in a tight budget we still need to  pamper ourselves. You can save 5 peso to 10 pesos everyday if you want to buy something for yourself

◾Go to a salon ( it doesn't need to be a well known) 
◾Have a relaxing massage
    ( there's a lot of Spa,Massage Center that are not expensive. You can try "Vibes Massage" )
◾ Buy make ups and Skincare Products
  ( It doesn't need to be  expensive products ,there are local made makeups that are really affordable and you will still look good)

7. Go out and Have Fun
You can go out without spending too much money.
- Visit a park or mall near your place with your family and friends

8. Join community that will help you to empowered yourself as a women.

BDJ is one of the well known Community for Women and I'm proud to be part of it .
They always have events and workshops
Check their page to know more about it

https://ilovebdj.com


9. Attend family events
This is one way to have  bonding time with our family and to get to know other family members 

10. Love yourself
Loving yourself means taking care of not only your body but our innerself

 11. Be proud 
Be proud of yourself as a mom.
Being a mom means you already done an awesome thing in this world. 

12. Don't live in your past 

Our past is like a book that we can read and learn from but you are living in present you need to flip the next page of your life and stop dwelling on the same page. MOVE ON! Accept what's in front of you.

13. Go out of your comfort zone

◾Don't be afraid to try new things. This is one way to discover more about yourself,Your hidden talent or the reason why you're here in this world


I am so thankful to my family specially to my husband , who is very supportive  to me and to my kids who always make me smile.



Now, this is me, I still feel sad sometimes but it's normal so I always make sure not to feel sad for the whole day.

I play with my your kids, go out and meet my friends,
I watch and read post from Women's Community page, Blog Post and Videos in You Tube. I also join cooking contest which is really fun.

No one can battle your Depression but yourself and You have to WIN that battle .


Hope you didn't get bored. If you have same stories and have more advice pls. Do share it in the comment section.I will appreciate it so much!!
Thanks for reading!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thank you for sharing us your story.

Popular posts from this blog

Tigdas/Measles: Mga Sintomas, Pagkain at Lunas

Pagkatapos ng Dengvaxia incident maraming magulang ang natakot na pabakunahan ang mga anak ng libreng bakuna na inaalok ng DOH Health Centers. Yung iba sa atin hindi na pinabakunahan ang mga anak laban sa measles, tetanus, rubella at cervical cancer (HPV). Nito lang week dinala namin uli si Chelsea sa Pedia nya dahil sa pabalik-balik na lagnat at ang napansin ko na rashes sa may bandang dibdib at tyan nya. Sinabi sa amin ng doctor na patuloy namin obserbahan si Chelsea dahil maaring mayroong Measles outbreak, sapagkat 3 na sa kanyang naging pasyente ng araw na iyon ay postive sa measles. Nagdeclare ng measles outbreak ang DOH sa Zambonga City noong February 2018, 495 na kaso sa Davao city starting from January-September 2108, at barangay sa taguig noong March 2018. Anu-ano nga ba ang sintomas ng tigdas (measles)? Mga kailangang gawin? Mga pagkain na  pwede at bawal kainin. 2 uri ng tigdas o Measles Tigdas Tigdas Hangin Sintomas: Rashes o pamamantal Dry c...

Best Korean Fried Chicken Is Now in the Philippines + Giveaway

Do you know, that you can now indulge the taste and enjoy the Authentic Korean Fried Chicken here in the Metro. You heard me right, You don't have to buy tickets and fly to Korea to taste an authentic Korean food. So, join me guys in my adventure in one of the newly opened  RestoPub in Ortigas. K-pop, Korean TV Series, Cosmetic Products and Korean Food are very famous to us Filipinos. I'm one of the avid fan of Korean Dramas and Food. I usually crave for Korean food after watching K-Dramas at home that's why I'm always hunting for that one restaurant that can really satisfy my taste buds for Korean dishes. The long wait is over! Recently, Gangnam Wings just opened its doors to the public, the newly opened restopub located in SM Megamall Building A Megastrip. Managed  by Chef Jung Chungyeal ( Chef John ) and Rinky Tuano. They started Gangnam Wings because of passion and love for food. They also like to introduce to us Filipinos the real taste ...

Dengue is Real, Keep Your Child Safe with OFF! Lotion

Our Family is always our top priority. It was September of 2015 when my daughter was hospitalized and turned out to be positive for Dengue, as a mom I was so scared. Nurses always come in to our room every 6 hours to get blood sample from my daughter for them to monitor her platelet count.  It was an unpleasant sight for me to see my daughter in that condition at her young age. When my daughter cries due to the pain of needle inserted to her skin, it was a more painful scene and sound for me, wishing that all of what I see and hear are not real, it was really heart breaking. It was that same month in which Dengue case was really prominent and a lot of kids are being rushed to the same hospital to be treated, we stayed in the hospital for more than a week for my daughter's recovery and since then, I always said to my self "Never Again" that I will allow this to happen and was thankful to God that she guided my daughter Before our stay in the ho...